Wednesday, August 8, 2012
As I was at the beach with no kids I couldn't help but watch other families. Families who weren't plagued by the awfulness of special needs. I couldn't help but wonder what our lives would be like if Jacob didn't have autism. I tell myself all the time to not let my thoughts go there because it only brings sadness and sorrow, but sometimes you just can't get your thoughts away from there. I wondered what it would be like to take Jacob on a vacation and not have to search hard for things that wouldn't frighten him or cause him anxiety. I envied families as they rode rides, ate ice cream and walked down the boardwalk unhindered by their normalcy. After getting home, I dove right back into the life of special needs that God has given me by attending a meeting about organizing a banquet for families that have special needs children. At the meeting I was reminded why God has placed me in this, mentioned before, "plagued" life. It's to encourage and uplift others who are on the same road I'm on. The only thing I have to offer is grace, love and hope from the God that has offered it to me. I hope that by my suffering I can offer peace to someone else in need of a Mighty God. The day following the meeting I hit the road again taking Jacob to the doctor to help solve some mysteries that have been going on with him. Going to the doctor with him is always an adventure. I had no clue we'd end up drawing blood, going to the eye doctor and to the outpatient services at the hospital. Things like these are typically triggers for Jacob and send him into a whirlwind of emotions. On days like this typically know that my back is going to be hurting and I'll be exhausted. But, oddly enough, he was a big trooper and we went through the day with only minor setbacks. I have to say, he sure is growing up and I am reminded that everyday he is making progress and is taking a step a little more closer to normalcy. I just have to remind myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.