Me and Jacob

Me and Jacob

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


      I've been living strictly by this acronym for 7, almost 8, years now. It's hard and frustrating to always ask myself this question. However, it really benefits me in the long run if I will follow the answer and not stray much from it. I know what your thinking! She's crazy!! WWJD was just a dumb fad 15 years ago. I can assure you though,  it's not what you think. My question is nothing of Christian connotation but of daily survival.

What Would Jacob Do?

     This is the question I've asked myself for the last 8 years. It's a simple one, yet so complicated. The fact that my life is constantly dictated by my oldest child is sometimes frustrating and dis-heartening but it is necessary. I sometimes feel guilty because at some point Caleb is going to realize that the decisions we make revolve around Jacob. I hope he understands when that day comes.

It's like this...

    "Where should we go eat?" -- Jacob can only eat at such and such.
    "Can we go to a movie?" -- Jacob doesn't do good in movies.
    "Can I get a cookie at the grocery store bakery?" -- No, Jacob can't have those.
    "Can you come to my birthday party?" -- Jacob doesn't do good at parties with a
            lot of people, and he can't eat any of the food
    "What are we eating for supper?" -- Something that Jacob can eat too.

Or with big decisions

    "Should we move into a different house?" -- I wonder how Jacob would handle that
    "Where should we go on vacation?" -- We need to go somewhere that Jacob will           enjoy
    "Should we have another kid?" -- I really don't think that would be good for Jacob         or us.
     Jacob can't help that he dictates life for us though. It wasn't his choice to have autism. I used to be angry about it and sometimes it still gets the best of me; but for the most part I understand that it is what it is and I might as well enjoy the times I have with both of my kids.

    I can want what I don't have, or, I can be joyful in the awesome, sweet little boys that I do have and live life to the fullest with them with no regrets.

It's not having what you want,
it's wanting what you have.
~Sheryl Crow~